So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
