They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
