ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
