I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
