of course. lets lasso hookers.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
