she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
