ya dads aren't the best wingmen
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
