I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
is it fun? or sober?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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