She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
