That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
