Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
