Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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