its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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