My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
