I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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