I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
