so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize