It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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