Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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