Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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