I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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