You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
