I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
