i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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