Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
