D3 body, D1 cock
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
