I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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