I think my vagina is haunted
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
