i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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