Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
