she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
