I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
