tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize