I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
