Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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