Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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