you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
