nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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