Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
