I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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