Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
