my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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