Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
