i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The Olympian is in my bed
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
