you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
