Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
