The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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