i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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