I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
