You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
