it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
