More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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