you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
