Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
