Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
