i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
