You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
