for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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