at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
