You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
