i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
