Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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