does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
