Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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