When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
