Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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