Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
