Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
