..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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