funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
