Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize