i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize