I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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