the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
