I swear god or herbie drove my car home
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have fence marks all over my body
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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