dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
