ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they're like a gay fantastic four
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
