4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
