she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
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i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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